Compliments to the Season & Happy Holidays
I just finished another trip around the sun, and I’m writing my way into a new solar return. I’m feeling mixed emotions about being 35.
Part of me feels whiplashed from life.
It’s surreal that I’ve spent 35 years hurtling through space on this rock and 17 of them as an adult, and I have no idea what I’m doing. Adulting is hard—a life long trap. But I’ve learned some lessons along the way.
Society is wrong. There is no prescribed formula for living life.
Be selfish. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for other people, and in fact, you shouldn’t.
An existential crisis is a pathway to self-growth— embrace them and have them often.
You can’t run from your past or bury it. It will ruin everything you touch, the more you resist facing it.
Vices are great in moderation— the key is to stay in control.
Spirituality is a personal endeavor. Sure, if you enjoy playing with others and following a prescribed set of rules, then by all means. But a solitary path constructed from what resonates with you is the best panacea for what ails yours spiritually.
Being on top of your mental health is non-negotiable.
Trauma will destroy you if you don’t unpack it and address the damage it caused.
Boundaries are the most crucial aspect of any relationship. Have them, enforce them, and live by them.
Alone time is imperative for inner peace and overall well-being.
Vulnerability is a superpower.
When you become an adult, it is your responsibility to unfuck yourself. That includes all the shitty conditioning from your parents, religious background, schooling, family, friends, and society.
Know your truth. Live it, learn it, and love it.
Personal work is a life long task. Your evolution exists in perpetuity, so keep at it.
Educate yourself on social issues before you open your mouth. It’s better to speak from an informed opinion.
Ignorance is not cute. But pretending to know something about something is worse— it’s okay to say I don’t know.
Eat that next slice of cake—but go to the gym or try to exercise daily.
Meditate.
Be mindful. Seriously in everything that you do— even when you masturbate.
Masturbate daily; you’ll feel better for the hormonal benefits.
Read to keep your mind sharp.
Create. Everyone is creative; it is our very nature, don’t let the bullshit of society clog your creativity.
Experiment with psychedelics at least once in your life.
Travel, explore, and have as many adventures as you can.
Learn another language. Not just a few phrases from a guide book but try to be fluent.
Live in at least one country that speaks a language different from your native tongue. You’ll learn so much about yourself and others as a result.
Cultivate an understanding of the natural world, the universe, and the science behind all things.
Think — not rumination or overthinking. But explore ideas.
Laugh. Let out that deep belly laugh sans abandon.
Express your joy unfettered.
Love fiercely and as much as possible. Love comes in many forms, and although English is limited to describing it, find out what love means for you.
Understand that happiness ebbs and flows. You are not required to be happy all the time.
Embrace the duality in all things. Not as an aspect of binary thinking but to understand the way the universe and the natural world works.
Breathe. No, learn how to breathe correctly.
Make life your best and biggest bottom bitch and ride that motherfucker.
News About Medium Writing
I haven’t been that active in December as I was in November. That happened for several reasons. I’ve talked about it in my previous newsletter so that I won’t get too into that now. But, I will say November left me drained because I wrote about so many traumatic things pulled from my past.
December was lovely to have a break. I thought a lot about what I want 2020 to look like for me where writing on Medium is concerned. I have yet to put it all down on paper, but I will as soon as life settles for a second.
This week I wrote about bleeding all over the screen in 2019. It contains the stories I wrote that helped me begin healing the past.
In 2019, I Bled All Over Your Screen [Friend link]
Going into 2020, I’ll be discussing more my writing journey in these newsletters and adding more content about my inner world, ideas, thought processes— plus considering my experiment with writer under two additional pennames on Medium.
In November, I started an alter account to write more intimate stories about sex that I didn’t necessarily want on my regular account. I’ve neglected her a bit but will get heavy into writing in January.
Last week I created a male account. I wanted to see if success is handled differently for men versus women on Medium. So there will be lots of talk about that in each newsletter, so we shall see how it all unfolds.
In 2020 I hope to continue to write about traumatic experiences from my life to get it all out, but I want to dive deep into healing topics, advice, self-help, and mental health awareness. I will discuss more on this next week for Mindful Monday.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
Candidly,
Nicole