How did I get tangled with a narcissist?
Why Wednesday | What lessons did I learn from my short time with a narcissist?
Hey guys!
Welcome to Why Wednesday. I missed our time together last week because I was still recovering from my neck injury, and I had so much work to do it was impossible.
This morning I published a new story called Lessons from my Brush with A Narcissist, and candidly, I’m still shook you guys. He used dark psychology on me to manipulate me into giving him what he wants. Up until a few days ago, I had no idea what Dark Psychology was, but I’ve heard about the type of mindfucks narcissists like to play. It wasn’t the first time I’d dealt with one.
Back in 2015, I dated a narcissist for six months; well, we had a sexual relationship, but because I had an avoidant attachment style, he didn’t affect me, and I was able to call him out on his bullshit, often. What saved me, though, was moving to France that summer. I was addicted to the sex we had. His sex game was so strong, but I knew I didn’t like him as a person.
This new guy, however, engaged me mentally. As a sapiosexual, that’s my love language. Still coiled deep inside was the need to know—was he being genuine with me?
Dark Psychology refers to the phenomenon where someone uses tactics of motivation, persuasion, manipulation, and coercion to get what they want.
There exist a triad within dark psychology. It includes narcissism, a display of egotism, grandiosity, and lack of empathy. Machiavellianism using manipulation to deceive exploit with no sense of morality. — Source
Psychopathy often charming, charismatic, and friendly yet is characterized by impulsivity, selfishness, lack of empathy, and remorselessness. — Source
He and I shared a lot of values, opinions, music, and cultural ideas in common. He’s into ethical non-monogamy like me and believes marriage is pointless or not a one size fits all for everyone. I genuinely thought we were friends.
Why are men great ‘til they gotta be great?
Why would someone waste so much time and energy emotionally fucking someone around for kicks? Because they can’t help it. The truth about the narcissist is that they are who they are, and there is no curing them. They love no one but themselves, and nothing you experience with them is real, beyond the mental and emotional abuse they put you through.
My Latest on Medium
Last week I had a busy week on Medium. I wrote a few stories, and they were all chosen by the Medium Curators for distribution to readers that followed those topics.
I wrote a harrowing story my friend shared with me about a mutual guy we knew who was interested in her. He sexually assaulted her while she slept, and her retelling triggered a childhood memory of a similar thing that happened to me. Why are men always seeking to destroy our shine through sexual abuse?
Which lead me to write about my struggle with body positivity. I’ve gained a lot of weight in the last year. Due to a combination of birth control, emotional eating caused by depression, and full neglect of my physical well-being. I wrote about being body responsible as opposed to being body positive.
Speaking of sex, I revamped an old story I wrote about the church and religious attitudes toward sex and the ramifications it has on society.
Friend Links for Medium Stories
As always, here are the friend links for the stories mentioned in this post. If you aren’t a paying member on Medium, this allows you to bypass the paywall and read all of the stories here. Do clap up to 50 times in the end, please. That helps Medium distribute my stories far and wide.
Lessons from my Brush with A Narcissist
Marriage Doesn’t Have to be An Obligation
She Woke-up to him Rubbing Her Crotch
Can we be Body Responsible instead of Body Positive?
The Religious Attitude on Sex Needs An Adjustment — It’s Time