Incorporating Mindfulness in Solo-Sex
Mindful Mondays are back and I've been chewing on a sexy mindful concept.
Here’s your fix of mindfulness on a Monday!
Hey there, thanks for being here.
I’ve been thinking about mindfulness a lot lately. I’ve been incorporating mindful steps in my daily activities to help mitigate anxiety this year. It’s helped me exponentially. I still have anxiety attacks, but the frequency has lessened.
While having a conversation with a friend one night a few weeks ago, I made a joke about creating guided mindful meditations for masturbation. He jokingly said, “Oh, like mindful masturbation.” I thought, wow, that’s genius.
Sex, whether with or without a partner, is the most mindful act you can engage in for free. Your mind is fully involved in the present moment, and you’re connected with your body in a real way—in theory, sometimes there can be a disconnect between us and our body.
It got me thinking about mindfulness during sex. More importantly, during solo-sex. So I went I decided to research it, and sure enough mindful masturbation was already a concept that was encouraged by others. With a caveat, it’s not like regular masturbation and orgasm is not the goal.
Let’s look at the basic definition of Mindfulness again.
mind·ful·ness
/ˈmīn(d)f(ə)lnəs/
noun
the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.
"their mindfulness of the wider cinematic tradition."
a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.
When we’re engaging with our bodies during solo sex, we are consciously aware of our arousal and the pleasure of our touch, enhancing that arousal. However, we’re not casting our awareness toward our body’s response beyond that arousal.
We aren’t simultaneously accepting the feelings and thoughts that are coming from our ministrations, and so most masturbation isn’t mindful at all. Often we need a stimulus line porn or sex toys to get us where we’re going, and that’s toward orgasm.
Instead, I invite you to try a mindful masturbatory session. Why? Because mindfulness is therapeutic, but also because it can help you connect your mind, body, and spirit seamlessly. By extension, you will become more acutely aware of your body while learning to be a better lover.
We’ll leave it there for now. I’m working on a story that will go deeper into the benefits of mindful solo-sex. I will say, though, it can help you have genuine body-positivity, aid the elimination of any hangups you have about sex and your body, but more importantly, it’s an act of self-love.
Friend Links|Stories I wrote last week on Medium
As always, here are the friend links for the stories mentioned in this post. If you aren’t a paying member on Medium, this allows you to bypass the paywall and read all of the stories here. Do clap up to 50 times in the end, please. That helps Medium distribute my stories far and wide.
I’m all about sex positivity and having open dialogues about sex, sexuality, and education. There remains an insidious stigma around women who are sexually free, enjoy sex responsibly, and own their sexual power in the way that men do. It’s sexist as fuck, and I’m so over it.
A post came across my Facebook timeline where a man wrote a degrading passage about women being worthless if their sexual body count was higher than 2. I got to do what I’m trying to do best and wrote my response to such thinking.
Women’s Sexual Body Count Doesn’t Undermine Our Worth
I also wrote about how cheating in my past relationships made me understand pretty early in my twenties that I’m not built for monogamy. A lot of humans aren’t, and it’s perfectly okay. This is an introduction to my feelings about being an ethical non-monogamist. More to come on this subject and how I hope to enjoy polyamory.
Cheating Helped Me Embrace Ethical Non-Monogamy
November Recap
I had a great month on Medium in November. The best one yet. I wrote with passion, honesty, and excavated some hard face experiences I’ve never talked about before. My highest viewed and the three top-earning stories were:
You Need a Sex Bucket List to Help Improve Your Sex Life
She Woke Up to Him Rubbing Her Crotch
I Thought We Were Friends — Then He Raped Me
As always, I appreciate you for being here. Read deep and share the stories across your social channels to help me out. Also, if you like this post, click that heart button in your email, so I know you loved it.
See you guys next week on Freewheeling Friday!
Candidly,
Nicole